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Saturday, February 21, 2009

This is for all the Small asses in the world. United we Stand.

To all my fellow brothers and sisters in the world afflicted with the small to no ass syndrome, I feel your suffering. I know what it is like to walk down the street, pants barely hanging by the minuscule arch of your bum. I know the pain, the suffering of having no real booty to check out. I understand.

I have heard it all over my almost quarter century of a life.

"Why do you wear your pants so low?" - Almost everyone at work.
"Do you have a cardboard piece in the back of your pants, or do you just have NO ASS?!" - My sister.
"Hey there no bum." - The Dalai Llama.

Look, I am sorry I dont have the genetic fortitude to "shake what my momma gave me," but its no reason to be so damn cruel. Isnt it enough to exist in this world with generosity, love and an above average penis size? Apparently not.

So I write this in an attempt to stop all the hate and judgement that gets past upon us, the posteriorly inflicted individual. We must stand together my people, and bring down the institutions of animosity that exist in the world today. For one day we will stand on top of it all and laugh.

Laugh at your jiggle.

*Edit: I apologize for writing this, because upon further inspection it is REALLY fucking retarded.

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