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Monday, September 28, 2009

I want to recognize the violence in your heart.

I want to sit and stare at the turmoil twirling its cane. I want to gasp in awe at the rocks heaving themselves off the cliff and onto the matted sugar canes.

I want to cry.

I want to cry at the blunders of the tiny men who have yet to finish building your aching heart. I want to cry with the mothers who remain huddled in the doorsteps of a serenading part. I want to sing.

Sing for infamy. Sing for embrace.

Sing to the crows who hover underneath the palacade walls while the sleeping dragons cascade the empty halls.

Breath they cry.

There remains grandeur in your opulence.
There remains beat to your drum.

Blackened hearts rejoice, for there remains light in your flame of none.

Sing your songs young ones
because it is only there that I want to recognize the violence in your heart.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Look what I did.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I re-installed counterstrike today.

Best web based decision* I have made in a long long time. This is most likely the catalyst for the resurgence of my nerd fetish and truthfully I am enjoying wallowing in the taped glasses and pocket protector lifestyle once more. Concurrent to that, I am also REALLY starting to enjoy my increasingly blatant and fervored nerd rage.

I really do love the game but when I start to get violent and throw inane insults at the computer screen is when a lifestyle choice becomes a problem. Not to say that there are no good times, for let me assure you there are many. I could go on for hours about the metallic clicks of my deagle or the heavy thuds of a perfect grenade. There are also times when I silently rejoice in the spattered arcs left by my exiting bullets. Smoldering comets flying through the air only to be crushed by the soft bodies standing in their wake.

Can you imagine what it would be like to live a life inside a video game such as this? An entire existence based upon an indifference to the barrage of life and death flowing around hushed faces. Limbo at its finest.

Perhaps I get too metaphysical about Counter Strike, but then again why not ya? It is one of the worlds most popular online multiplayer games and its march does seem to strike some sort of cadence with the mass psyche. How I even found some sort of metaphysical merit within this game blows me away and perhaps sheds some light on the discourse of our very own permanence. It seems to me, that this game encapsulates our lives perfectly within its 2 minute rounds of violence. Machiavellian ghosts out to take another life.

*Sorry bejeweled. You have been dethroned.


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