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Thursday, May 28, 2009

Im Sorry.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009


Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Fighting robot shows were amazing.

Oh battle bots, how I miss you (even with your dangerously overzealous patriotic tones). Whatever happened to TV shows like these? Ones that actually promoted creativity and intelligence. Where "geekdom" was not something to be frowned upon, but instead praised for its ingenuity and passion.

Where parents and children could sit together and enjoy television entertainment while simultaneously LEARNING something new and interesting.

Now in lue of all of this we now have shows like "Double shot of love with Tila stupid bitch".

For shame cable tv, for shame.

P.S: Yes I want to build an awesome robot and have robot wars with cool spinning and or pointy things coming out of it.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Ever feel like your in a dream world?

Constantly filtering in and out of reality?
Sometimes as invisible as the dark night, and at other times a god capable of changing worlds with the touch of a finger?

Ever feel like an oddity that has no home? A point of light amongst a sea of black?

Ever feel like a child thrown into an ocean with no paddle nor hope?

Ever feel stupid as fuck that you asked for all of this?


You know whats funny about the whole situation though? Im still going to take the red pill.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I have been watching entirely too much TV lately.

This is not a good thing.
I mostly blame me being a little lazy, and the crazy amount of television sets in this house.

My eyes feel strained and my brain a little slower.

I should go read.
But goddamn is it ever easy to pick up that remote.
No no...I should go read.


You know how strong the charm of the remote is when you start to procrastinate by typing nonsensically on your blog.

I found some funny things I wrote on my hellish flight back home. I don't even think I was exaggerating.

It has been almost 48 hours since I have slept. Plus I have no eyebrows or hair.
Pushing 72 hours with no sleep (well I had 4 last night) and Im pretty certian I am running a pretty high fever.
Fucking body is shutting down after the severe abuse I put it through in the past 7 days. Its been a bitch. Flight to fiji will have to go down as the worst flight in my history. I have never felt that type of pain in my ears ever before. I had to tell myself to breath through it, it was that bad. Maybe I am just being a little girl. I dunno, but man did it hurt.
Equilibrium still has not returned. I feel like I am going to pass out. No joke. Ordered some food. And Im sure going from sydney/airport cold to fiji humid hot is not going to help the situation any. Lets see what happens on this LA flight. I could die. Probably not. Ok. Im just being a drama queen. But still man. Fucking ow.

On the LA flight I honestly did think I was going to die, or have a heart attack atleast. I self-prognosed myself with a wicked fever, but it all worked out in the end I suppose.

Flying straight for almost 4 days, and having minimal sleep in 10 is not recommended.

Here is a big fuck you to ICBC.

Fuck. You.

You know what would be good business practice? If you didn’t fuck over your customer base every chance you got. You know what would be an even better idea? If you paid attention to how people actually drove, as opposed to how you think they should be driving. Contrary to what you may think, being cooped up in your own little corporate bubble does not exempt you from being responsible to a public which you still provide a service for.

That's right ICBC, you provide a service to US, not the other way around. You rely on US for business, and accordingly YOU need to evolve your business model to keep pace with our demands. We don’t have to bow down to you, because we are hiring you! You work for us jackasses!

Unfortunately you already have a strong monopolization of the BC auto market and thus, we the public, often feel we have no other option than you. We believe we have no where to turn to, no one to talk to, and no one to change what so desperately needs to be changed.

Yet, what we fail to realize is that the public can fire ICBC anytime it chooses to. Let us not forget, we are the CEO’s and VP’s of the land. The government and all of its subsidiaries are employees of ours. We rule the roost.

Now, I may be wrong here, but doesn’t a successful business model sometimes constitute re-shuffling? Continuously cutting the fat so that a company can rise without dead weight pulling it down?

Its a thought.

Now, the only reason ICBC gets to charge such atrocious insurance rates, and maintain its stranglehold on the BC auto society, is because there is no competition. Maybe the complete privatization of the auto-plan industry is the way forward, or perhaps ICBC just needs to buck up and open their eyes. Either way, changes need to be made and people need to speak up.

P.S: If your going to give completely pointless learners tests atleast TRY and mimic real life road situations ok?

P.P.S: Its countersteering jackasses, not tip the bike over at 80 kmph.

Radio Soulwax

Standing in the Light Field.

A man dressed in a simple suit stands silent on the stage. The spotlight unfettered by his scowl, continues its relentless assault of warm rays onto his beaten face. His brow, which had furrowed in much distress, has finally smoothed with a resignation to a fate he did not choose.

He sighs.

The red curtain flutters behind him, sending ripples of waves across a sea of velvet giving hint to the violence not half a step behind.

His eyes look up, and all they see is black. The occasional whisper and cough betrays the invisible ghosts which saunter in and out of his existence. There is no rest, there is no peace. These ghosts will haunt, they will poke and they will prod. These ghosts leave him sober and sad. They will try and make him forget.

He walks to the mic and taps on its glittery mesh. A hush settles over the empty chairs, and a voice croaks its finality through the still mist.

I am the sand. I am the stone. I am the bird that falls. I am the silence that is echoing. I see the dodos begging me to keep them comfortable, so I only do what I can.

I close my eyes.
I close my eyes.

Monday, May 18, 2009

I wish I had a pet tiger

Friday, May 15, 2009

Im still dancing.


If you arn't dancing by now.

Comon man.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Bhasmati Madness.

So I have a question for your Mr. Rice, why can’t I cook you?

Everytime I try, you turn into a goopy mush or a burnt disaster. Granted, I am not a Chef Ramsey, (I don’t like to call my mushroom soup a dirty fucking whore), but you aren't exactly creme brule you know?

All you require is heat and water. Heat and fucking water...that it! So why is it that I still manage to fuck you up? I have destroyed entire pots in my quest for edible rice. I have spent real dollars in an attempt to cook you, and yet you can’t grace my plate without being an abomination to my pallet. I either add too much water, or too little. You either adhere to the bottom of my pan with a fierce gorilla hold or you drip off my spoon with a texture reminiscent to baby food.


Listen rice, even though it’s clear that you have a long standing vendetta against me, I beg you stop this unnecessary hate. Why can’t we just get along? Why can’t you, me and chicken side dish just sit down and have a good time? Why do you have to be such a dick?

I love you rice, I really do, now I just want that love reciprocated. Is that such an unreasonable request?

You know what? Forget world peace, all I want for Christmas is fluffy rice.

P.S: I promise I’ll stop cheating on you with pasta if you would just put out occasionally. Frigid carb.

Monday, May 11, 2009

And thats how you let the beat build.

Nyle "Let The Beat Build" from Nyle on Vimeo.

One Take, with audio recorded simultaneously.

If people could hear my thoughts...

I would probably be in some sort of health care facility right now.
Either that or they would use me as a mule for a myriad of shitty B list movies.

Coming soon to a theater near you.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

So Im watching Ultimate Fighter right...

And this guy just got FOUR of his teeth knocked out and stuck in his mouthguard. Know what they do for the next round? They take the teeth out with a pair of pliers, (so the mouthguard sits properly in his mouth again) and started the new round.

Same guy also just tapped out to a straight arm bar.




Friday, May 8, 2009

An oldie but a goodie.

And the worst song in a wizard movie goes to...

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

*slow clap*

Yes, I finally watched the movie in its entirety and although well made, the song played at the Yule ball was, for the lack of any better term, BARF.

Is that what this generation of children consider "cool"? Are you for real? Has pop music really degraded to this garbage? Have the Chemical Romance’s and Pussy Cat Doll’s of the world really taken over mainstream music to the point where nothing exists but marketing and shitty renditions of the glamor metal era? Say it ain’t so!

Now, I may have taken a while to stroll into the party, (I personally call it a fashionably late), but holy crap man, we seriously need to rethink our standards of what constitutes good music.

As much as I hate to say it, MTV has and continues to mold young minds through the influence of music. The difference now however, is that the music and culture have not only adhered to the lowest common denominator, but have also made a conscious effort to dumb down an entire populace of children.

Granted I have not watched TV in a while, and perhaps what I am blathering on about doesn’t even need to be said, but when Soulja boy is still in the Billboard top10, it makes me think I’m not that far off the mark.

Now I am no music elitist, I listen to a lot of popular music, but a line needs to be drawn in the sand. Lets put the Michael Jacksons and Claptons back on their perch. Why don’t we let the Dylans, Nirvana’s and NWA’s regain their wings? Lets inject some fucking substance and emotion back into our veins!

Maybe “Superman dat hoe”, really does inspire some people. I don’t know, and honestly its really not my place to say. However, do we really need to pay heed to that type of message?

“Listen kids, remember to always half ass it and never use your brain ok? Cause its the only way you will ever achieve this level of success. In fact, why bother trying to save the world, when supermanning that hoe is good enough?”

By promoting abominations such as these, that is exactly what we are telling this generation of thinkers.

Here is an idea, instead of being stuck in cookie cutter beats and lyrics lets try something different and EXPERIMENT. Lets push the bounds of acceptable and get the message out there. Music doesn’t have to be an opiate, it doesn’t have to exist in the background. Popular music was once the voice of an entire generation of change. Lets make it happen again.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Yes Im drifting...

A fog horn blows in the distance as we sit still on a wooden bench, cup of tea in hand (Earl Gray w/ 1 spoon of sugar), watching the fog roll over the still onyx waves. The tower casts its light onto the ocean water, illuminating the darkened treasures lurking just beneath.

Cold bites the tip of your nose, and you curl your blanketed toes in a feeble attempt to keep the piggies warm. A smile creeps onto your face and a strand of hair ambles its way past your ear and onto your nose.

A sip. A smile.
Slowly slowly,

I am drifting.

High ho, High ho, its off to work we go.

So I visited my old work today. In addition to stern warnings about behaving myself (I have been known to be a rascal), I got a nice welcoming from all the staff and clients :)

It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

I am currently sleeping in the most ridiculous bedroom in the world.

Since I just got back into the city and have no money at my disposal, I am staying at my parents house. My folks, the incredibly sweet people they are, let me store the remains of my apartment in my old bedroom. It seems in a span of 3 months, this room has become the resting place of all things random.

Consequently I have boxes of books, computers, motorcycle gear, board games, broken up pieces of Ikea furniture, 2 snowboards, a microwave, tv, a air humidifier, random pieces of art, a tub full of legos, lots of pennies, lightbulbs, oscillating fans, white tea body cream, and 3 laundry baskets. Thats right. 3.

I also have a stuffed Canadian beaver that somehow managed to make its way into this room.

I now sleep with it.

Don't judge me.

*Edit: Ok, it really doesnt sound that ridiculous but you should see this place. Its more of a you need to be here type of thing.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Its kinda wierd not having any eyebrows or hair.

Its been almost a week, and even though the hair is starting to grow back, I just can't help but feel odd. Touching all the spiky growth is an activity that keeps me fascinated for hours on end. I must look like I am on a meth binge or something.

Hey man, *scratch scratch rub rub*, you got any cheeseburgers man...*scratch scratch*

But for real, I miss my long hair.

P.S: I also found out that I have way too many dents in my head, alot more than what one would deem normal. Thanks mom.

I promise I have a penis and not a vagina. I SWEAR.

True Love.

There are so many definitions of what true love is, that it boggles my mind. In fact, all one has to do is Google the term itself and your bombarded with a plethora of new age, psychological and physiological attempts to describe something that (in my opinion at least), exceeds definition itself.

If I could borrow a quote from Wedding Crashers, (yes I know...shut it):

True love is your souls recognition of its counterpoint in another.

Now, as much as I hate to say it, Owen Wilson might be onto something here. If we were to accept that love goes beyond just a simple biological function of human procreation, then we would also have to accept that "love" would have to have an ethereal quality about it. Love then, could be nothing but the missing piece of a puzzle which we so eagerly await to be completed.

Perhaps love, is the energy that forms the duality, maybe its the song behind our universe, or maybe its the sticky remnants found in the ally behind the bar.

All I know is that you need to follow your feet and perhaps one day this beautiful mess will clean itself up.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Sahara nights.

There are currently 6 people in the most elaborate living room fort you have ever seen in your life. There are mattresses with a central pillar and sheets tied to chairs which give everything an Arabian Nights effect.

I love how this night turned out.


Happy facin all over your space booooy.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Man. I am so high right now.

Ya dude.
Did you pay your child support man?
Oh shit man. I forgot.
You forgot man?
Ya man. Its because I was HIGH.

dun dun dun.

Marijuana. The not so silent killer.

This, a typical "stoner" conversation, has been occurring with much greater frequency than with what I am comfortable with. So, because of events like these, it is I, who will give my full support to Stephen Harper and his new bill.

Way to go Harper! Way to get to the crux of the problem! Fuck the 65% of the people who actually WANT marijuana legalization, you do your thing man. Lets throw the fuckers in jail man! YEA!

You know why your awesome Harper? Its because you don’t need to listen man. Your fucking Stephen Harper! You don’t need to listen to shit!

Screw those fucking hippies and their long hair. Beneath the farce of love and peace its murder dude! I see it in those hippies eyes everytime. Plus they totally stink too, and I mean, who can trust a smelly person am I right? I know Harper buddy, I’m on the same page as you.

Hey man, lets not even think about how you are putting increased strain on an already overburden legal system nor how your going to get money for an already bloated budget while still sustaining a national economy in a floating global recession.

You'll figure it out. You know why?


Who cares about the rest right? Its the elite and dolla dolla bill ya'll!

P.S: Fucking Hippies.

P.P.S: Can I have a signed autograph?

Friday, May 1, 2009

Universal Traveller

Hate Mail

Dear Smiths Snack Food Company,

As per your consumer quality guarantee, I am not satisfied with your “Twisties” product and have taken drastic steps in letting you know this. These measures will mostly consist of this letter, a lifetime barring of your cheesie like product, and some diarrhea.

Now, I have many problems with your food like substance, but the one that irks me the most, is that your Wikipedia entry claims it to be the “number one extruded snack brand.” Really? Does this mean that other humans (I only assume humans, but I could be wrong), willingly eat this garbage on a regular basis? Have you coated the strands of the “knobby surfaced” stick with some kind of mind control? In all honesty, that is the only explanation I have, considering you also sell this junk in chicken flavor!

“Hey Bob, you hungry?”
“Yea man, I could really go for some cheese and chicken flavored powder on dried corn right about now!”
“Well fucking hell Bob, have I got the product for you!”

Another gripe that I have (among many), is your slogan. Although your wiki entry states different, my bag shows your slogan as being, “Life is more fun with...TWISTIES!”

Is it? Is it fucking really!? Should I be fucking dancing on the table with a bag of twisties in my hand? Maybe next time instead of charm and humor, I’ll just bring a FUCKING BAG OF TWISTIES TO THE PARTY!

What about relationships huh? Should I be screaming cheesy delights while my girlfriend silently cries in the corner?

“Don’t worry about it baby, I GOT FUCKING TWISTIES ON MY SIDE!”

*Deep breath*

I could go on, but it seems along with bowel issues, your product also causes heart problems. I thank you for your time and hope your company soon falls into the proverbial gutter.




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