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Friday, July 31, 2009

Sand Art. Incredible.

San-Franciscan artist Andres Amador creates large-scale works of sand art on the beaches of California. Raked into the sand, the complex designs, which start out as doodles in his notebook, cover huge spans of land. Always fighting the tide, Amador will wait for a full or new moon in order to ensure low tides and more time. Within a few hours of completing a design, it is washed away by the sea. There's no time for error, so Andres prepares his pieces well in advance by crafting the image again and again on a computer. In the past five years, Andres has raked over 100 designs into the beaches of the San Francisco Bay area. He is currently planning to seek out new beaches around the world in which he can produce his work. Andres says that he receives very positive reactions from those lucky enough to catch a glimpse of his work before they dissapear into the ocean. He believes that the fleeting nature of his artwork is what most captures the imaginations of his fans.

My new passport.

I was talking to my uncle today and he came up with a fantastic idea. Lets use my tattoo as my new passport. Instead of stamps and visas let us use this piece of body art as my official identity. This way I can parade the worlds airports without a shirt baring my candy kiss nipples.


I just realized with this seemingly harmless post, I touched on the NWO barcoding theories. I could write alot about that.

Edit*: Keep an eye out Mr. Government, cause Im looking at you.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

I think Im going to die

I don't want to sound like some nancy pants, but it is uncomfortable warm. I can feel my skin dripping off my arms and onto the floor.

Did you ever burn those Vote-me signs which were found stuck in the front lawns of suburbia? Id imagine thats what my skin would look like. Acid raindrops plummeting to the ground.



Im a seriously debating taking a very hard motorcycle ride right now. The only thing holding me back are my tires. They are starting to wear down to the knob and taking corners at 150km+ does not seem like a viable option.

I suppose I can enjoy a leisurely cruise through the city, but I am seriously aching for some twisties. The only real reasonable choice right now is some of those White Pine roads but they end quickly and often leave me unsatisfied (thats what she said)!

As I am in no mood to trek my way down to the hell soup that is downtown Vancouver tonight those short jagged roads may be my only option. I realize no one really cares but you know in case I end up in some ditch somewhere atleast you knew what I was doing!

PS: My riders conscious just bitch-slapped me for making that last comment.
PPS: 150km/h + on a corner is a bit of an exaggeration in most cases, but can be accomplished on the Sea to Sky highway. Trust me. VERY doable.

I think it would be fun to become an eccentric published author.

This way you can start wearing berets and start smoking corn cob pipes without any fear of judgment. Or we could go the extra mile and I could start to tame wild pumas while taking weekend trips to Antarctica. I figure this way you could nuture your crazy but still be very financially afloat.

Take THAT John Grisham.

Im melting.

I know the weather topic has been beaten into the ground recently, but I can't help re-iterate the fact that it is HOT. So hot infact that I have taken to walking around in a hat and boxer briefs. My sister, who is not very pleased with this arrangement is constantly calling me an embarrassment. Now not only is that berating but is also distressing to my ego. I realize certain protocol needs to be followed when underage highschool girls come over, but dude...COMON! Besides, I really don't hear them complaining.

There are people (who will remain unnamed so that they may save face), who claim that my brownness should have prepared me for this violent onslaught of mind melting heat. Thus, I have prepared a short note which which address these crass and ignorant generalizations.

1. Yes, I did grow up in India but I was only there till I was eight. All resistance to any potential heatwaves dissipated when I stepped off the plane and into a massive snowstorm.

2. Being brown does not automatically make my skin impervious to cancer and being crispined. In fact, I see my mother use Oil of Olay on a daily basis and truthfully, who knows what her skin would look like without it.

3. My blood is not warmer than the general human populace. If that were the case, I would most likely be dead and a profile case on Ripleys Believe it or Not.

Now I hope that I have "learned" some of you "crackas" with this public service announcement. I only refer to the white folk in this candid discussion as black people generally understand my frustration. Thank you for your time and remember kids racism is never funny. Unless ofcoarse its directed towards asian people because lets face it, you guys are pretty bad drivers.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Its funny how many people filter in and out of your life.

Just a constant stream flowing through a mesh. Some stick, and some don't. Some want to stay and others don't.

Im not sure where I was headed with this, except now I feel a little depressed. I have lost contact with alot of amazing people in my life. Some were a fault of my own and others vanished due to circumstances beyond my control.

To all the people I have hurt. Im sorry.

Perhaps a time will come where we will meet once again and laugh at our own idiocy while we sip tea from each others experiences.

One can only dream right? And as it turns out, I am pretty good at that.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Thunder sends chills up my spine.

I absolutely love that sound. It almost feels like the deep rumble of a rolling log parading its way through a scared evergreen forest. It is the perfect accompanyment to a Bowerbirds track. I wish there was more of it in Vancouver minus of coarse the torrential rains that often follow.

I should also make a note of last night as it turn out there are or were quite a few alum Sigs that read this thing. It was ridiculous. I mean, I was completely sober throughout the keg race (shocking I know) and perhaps I don't have room to talk, but DAMN DUDES. Perhaps my sobriety slanted my perspective, but that was ALOT of shitty keg beer.


I was a little surprised at the lack of keg stands though, alas what are you going to do when there is no more juice?

PS: I helped save some Nigerian children by buying some overpriced hotdogs. I feel like I should get a badge or something.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Spending the entire day inside watching Battlestar Galactica = Good job.

Even though it is exceptionally nice and sunny outside, I thought my time would be better spent watching this mercilessly pirated TV show. Alas, it is time to go out and enjoy the evening weather. UBC madness? Most definitely yes.

Smile, cause its time to catch the sun.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

This popeye comic blew my mind.

It was released a few days ago in the best Belgian weekly magazine, Humo. The english "subtitles" were put in so the panel makes more sense.

Seriously though, why can't we have comics like this in N.A? I mean as horribly degrading as that is, its fucking FUNNY. Kinda puts Popeye in a whole new perspective too. In the end, it is an anti-joke and equivalent to a dead baby crack. It garners an awkward pause which is then interspaced with spattered giggling from across the hall.

I wonder what it would be like to live life with no knees.

I can't see it being very comfortable. Can you imagine what a game of california kickball must be like for the kneeless population? Just a bunch of really erect people waddling around, tapping red rubber balls in swingless futility.

I also wonder if they would recieve a disability check. I mean, "noknees" is a pretty serious disease.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I recently added the Bejeweled application on iGoogle.

I think it might be the best web based decision I have made in a long time. I also have written some fantastic pieces, but I can't bring myself to proofread them properly. Eh. Eventually. Eventually.

P.S: My cut is still bleeding and I think the doc who said, "stiches won't be worth it," is a quack. The more I ponder the situation, the more I believe suing for malpractice is a viable option.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Go pick up the new Regina Spektor album.


Incredible. I have always loved her but this is definitely her best work to date, even better than 11:11.
Just wow.

She is the epitome of a perfect woman. Just the right amount of quirky mixed in with with that intelligent unobtrusive stare of a true beauty unknown to everyone but her.

Where can I find one of her for myself eh?


What can I say, Im crushin hard :)

I desperatly want to move and live in New York for a little while.

I am going to try and make it a life goal, and at the very least visit the damn city within the next couple of years.

I think my special brand of craziness would be appreciated there and its one of those places in the world where everything just seems to click. The fashion, food, music and general vibe of the city has always enthralled me. To me, New York has always seemed to have this really eclectic mashup of turbulent chaos and quiescent tranquility which both scares and fascinates me. Call it Hollywood romanticism, I don't care.

I want. New. York.

Dollerton madness.

So I know I have always been incredibly clumsy and a closet blond for most of my life, but last night I pulled a gooder that surprised even me!

I somehow managed to jam a wine glass stem into the bottom of my foot! FUN! It was a surprisingly easy feat when you take into account the several drunk people, a padlocked pool, and an earnest desire to take a dip at 3am.

It was pretty entertaining actually minus of coarse the blood loss and painful shards of New Zealand liquid. My friend, Kimmy, who is a nurse in training took good care of me in her drunken haze.

Sitting on a toilet mostly naked, bleeding profusely while she tried to take my blood pressure was a moment in time that will not be soon forgotten.

Good times I think. We are a classy bunch usually, I swear.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Yo mama so fat she tried to eat Cornelius Fudge

Now, there are times that crop up in ones life where you have to seriously contemplate certain aspects of your own humanity and whether you have a sane personality. Reading articles such as these, make me question my own inner nerd, and slutty humor. Yes I am a humor whore, and I have come to the conclusion that I tickle my own funny bone entirely too easily.

On second thought. Eh.

Monday, July 13, 2009

This is a sexy bike.

And I would have sex with it assuming she were willing. Synthetic oil would also have to make a play into the foray.

Did I really just type that?

So turns out I went a little crazy.

Insane in the membrane! But really, I should start writing again, and perhaps this time put some effort into proofreading. Sigh. So much more work >.<


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