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Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Im melting.

I know the weather topic has been beaten into the ground recently, but I can't help re-iterate the fact that it is HOT. So hot infact that I have taken to walking around in a hat and boxer briefs. My sister, who is not very pleased with this arrangement is constantly calling me an embarrassment. Now not only is that berating but is also distressing to my ego. I realize certain protocol needs to be followed when underage highschool girls come over, but dude...COMON! Besides, I really don't hear them complaining.

There are people (who will remain unnamed so that they may save face), who claim that my brownness should have prepared me for this violent onslaught of mind melting heat. Thus, I have prepared a short note which which address these crass and ignorant generalizations.

1. Yes, I did grow up in India but I was only there till I was eight. All resistance to any potential heatwaves dissipated when I stepped off the plane and into a massive snowstorm.

2. Being brown does not automatically make my skin impervious to cancer and being crispined. In fact, I see my mother use Oil of Olay on a daily basis and truthfully, who knows what her skin would look like without it.

3. My blood is not warmer than the general human populace. If that were the case, I would most likely be dead and a profile case on Ripleys Believe it or Not.

Now I hope that I have "learned" some of you "crackas" with this public service announcement. I only refer to the white folk in this candid discussion as black people generally understand my frustration. Thank you for your time and remember kids racism is never funny. Unless ofcoarse its directed towards asian people because lets face it, you guys are pretty bad drivers.

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