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Thursday, May 6, 2010

Today it was clarrified to me, that pants hanging halfway down your ass is drawn up as indecent exposure.

Now seeing as bums laced in white "Sportman" boxer briefs are quartered into the same category as say a, flasher giving an old lady the old one eyed snake, I figured a strong rebuttal against archaic procedure is in order.

As any loyal follower would remember, I once wrote a piece concerning my flat ass and the unbridled prejudice I encountered due to such an unfortunate genetic mishap. There prejudices were/are namely centered in the account of verbal obscenities drawn within correlative remarks about flat walls and rectal cavities. Not cool.

Look, low hanging jeans just make me feel comfortable ok? I don't enjoy the bunching I receive in the frontal pelvic cavity, nor do I sympathize with inseam that magically transposes itself into cracks better left unamed. A 4 inch spacer between the waist and belt is all I ever needed.

Also, did you ever even think that I might actually ENJOY waddling around like a self-righteous penguin? No. No you didn't. Its called empathy you sociopathic nutjob. Get some.

Anyways, I should probably let these institutions know that as of today I am declaring my low hanging jeans, as sanctioned by fresh UN law, a relief effort garnered upon flat bums everywhere. Viva La Levis.

1 comment:

mike said...

As the aforementioned sociopathic nutjob, I must decline your invitation of gaining empathy.
I will however suddenly and violently grab a hold of your pants and slam them to the ground, exposing all of your 'comfort', to the call center world.



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