I started to write something about my own ego and my aspiring megalomania but then I decided that would be entirely too boring and self-convoluted. So instead, lets talk about chia pets. And how absolutely RETARDED they are.
Look, I don't care who you are but NO-ONE who maintains any semblance of sanity introduces a clay fucking dog sprouting green hair into their lives through any willful or conscious act.
I maintain, that anyone who actually buys one of these fuckers has to be either:
b) Under threat of violent act.
c) Incredibly high.
Infact in some cultures, green sprouted grass on the surface of any skin is often seen as a sign of strong bacterial growth looking for a way to chew your limbs off. Think about that for a second. You bought a fucking INFECTION to sit nonchalantly by your window side. Disgusting.
All in all, you chia pet "lovers" (more like losers really) need to get your lives together and start to invest in a higher grade potted plant.
Fucking nerds in this country.