I should start off by saying that I am sad. Very, very, sad. My hair holds a special place in my heart and as I relinquish myself to this disease, I fear I shall lose not only follicles but a piece of my soul in the process.
Why must god do this to me?
What could I have possibly done, be it in this or previous life, that could have incurred such unnecessary wrath? Was it when I stole candy from the store that one time? Or was it at some point prior to my birth that I pissed you off? Some ageless soul who's prank went horribly ary. Did I step on your toe god? Cause, I'm really sorry man. I swear. Just don't do this to me. Don't snatch my soft locks at the peak of my life. To do so is just downright mean.
Come on god. Gimmie my hair back. Come on.
FINE. If that is the sorry hand you are going to deal to me, then I shall play it. Just don't expect me to be all chipper about it you goddamn cock.
It's not like I already hate bald people. Fucking losers. LOOK AT ME I HAVE A SHINY HEAD.
I don't want to be one of those.
I think Im going to be one of those really bitter bald men as I age. Always looking at the full heads of hair with disdain and anger. At least I won't have dandruff.
PS: I wonder if i'll need to buy more sunscreen in the summer months?