Sometimes I wonder what its like to break down completely.

To have absolutely nothing left. To become a lump of walking clothes filtering in and out of a indifferent crowd.

No friends. No ambition. No emotion. An empty shell of what once was. Where even the memories of better times don’t matter. A complete and utter resignation to the idea of pure apathy.

I wonder what that would feel like? Would guilt still exist? Would it be a concious act to remain in this state? Or would it be something that just happened. No effort, just a mentality of “nothing matters, so why even bother?” Where emotion ceases to play any role. A survival mechanism that has run its course.

I wonder.